Osama bin Sasquatch on Mars (or is it Cornelius?)

This disturbing image provides yet more evidence, if any were needed, of the threat posed to our robotic interplanetary spacecraft by suspected Islamofascist time-travelers from the thirty-third century, who take advantage of the low gravity and thin atmosphere of the Martian environment to hurl stones at our rovers from a distance, disabling the wheels, weakening our scientific efforts, and strengthening their own self-constructed timeline in which the world is united under Islam before that religion subsequently reforms and disappears as Earth civilization goes interplanetary.

Alternative explanations abound. The human mind has an amazing ability (pareidolia) to see visual forms where only random shapes exist, Dr Rorschach. One independent speculative investigator, employing highly-classified image enhancement techniques, found a closer resemblance to Cornelius, who time-shifted back to our time when the Earth was destroyed, and may have landed on Mars instead of Earth. For more information on this hypothesis, see the documentary film Escape from the Planet of the Apes. NASA pranksters may have released inflatable figures, which are now blowing around the red planet and popping up in the occasional photograph. The indigenous Martians may have emerged from their caves to see where the vibrations were coming from. Or, extraterrestrials may be visiting from their hexayurt hexagonal base on the north Saturnian pole to get a closer look to determine the origins of the spy probe.

Whatever the explanation, it may justify the deployment of the Hellfire (or whatever the hell it is called) missile to blow up suspected insurgents on our neighboring world before they pose a threat to the American way of hegemony. I urge Senator McCain (and Charlton Heston) to personally investigate and fulfull pResd'nt Bush's dream of manned exploration of Mars!

I think I first saw this news on Posthuman Blues. The pictures (not Roddy) are from NASA via the Times Online. In using Google's server farms as a substitute for my atrophied memory of the word "pareidolia" I found the topic was also covered by BoingBoing (-- it figures!).