Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, February 27, 2012

SCRAP: ᚠμ©× TEPCO +

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI718wgTIFI
ᚠμ©× TEPCO
by SCRAP
to the tune (?) of Rockaway Beach (Ramones)



Song set to SCRAP musician Nobu's pics of his abandoned hometown of Namie, including what looks like suiting up and going back in to extract belongings from his apartment. 


Monday, May 16, 2011

I am worried about my grade



My stapler ran out of staples.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

WTF Breakout?

Marc Maron's WTF popped up as a number 7 of the top 10 funny things(?) of the year in Rolling Stone and is the subject of an article in The New York Times. This is in addition to the minor appearances in other places such as Jewcy and Re:Comedy. The slideshow at the NYT has a few new pictures, too. I knew WTF was getting more listeners, but I'm a little surprised to hear Brendan McDonald say 200,000. It still feels like there are 200 or 2,000 of us listening.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Octoracle



The lyrics as well as I can make out:

Paul the Octopus
by Aiden Ajar

I'm just a cephalopod
I'm only 2 years old
oh--but I'm the 8 legged oracle
or so I'm told

oh wonderful octopus
you're the great prophet of our time
we need a leader to reveal us truth
if I feed you mussels will you please be mine?

all attention will be on your tank
we'll base our lives on the way you behave
be our master, be our saviour
most of all be our slave

I'm just a cephalopod
I've never even seen a tv
oh you think that I control your destiny
oh I don't even know I live in Germany

oh terrible octopus
you're the worst mollusk of our time
we needed you to reveal us truth
--well, I suppose you did but we do not like the truth--
we hold you responsible
off with your tentacles
I will eat you
I will eat you
I will eat you

I'm just a cephalopod
I don't even know what FIFA is!
don't barbecue me
don't cut me into pieces
don't crucify me
I never asked to be your jesus...

(edited 2010¤07·16°)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

WTF'in' around with QR-codes

I've been listening to WTF with Marc Maron, as mentioned in a previous post. I've gone through most of the backlog and have to conclude that this is a better situation for Marc in that he is producing better, more timeless and higher-quality comedy-centered content now.

I tried to integrate a QR code into the (existing WTF) show graphic, so I could learn how to use the G.I.M.P. a little more, and maybe even contribute something back to Marc.

I used the Google chart API to make a URL like this or this with error correction level H (allowing 30% of the code to go missing).
My first idea was to go with Marc's face. Hmmm. It's not great but I suppose his face would be enough to remind people what the link was for.
My second attempt was the weirdo-at-the-screendoor effect, in 2 versions. Git yer gun, Pa!

(click for full size)
It doesn't really work unless you see it at full size; the grid doesn't scale.
I tried this blue 600 pixel hippie gif because I didn't like the Huck Finn quality of the existing letters WTF.
I'm not really satisfied with any of these. All of this "code" may be out of date soon as you can apparently just point your cellphone camera at buildings and things and have them recognized.

BTW, since I was working on this in the presence of a 7-year old, WTF now stands for Where's the fish?, What's that fish?, or What's that for?

This final one looks like it wouldn't work, but it scans in very quickly.

The GIMP is better than Photoshop. It's almost the same ease of use (if you start from zero), is cheaper at 0 yen vs $700, and is guilt-free for pirates. And although I personally like the gimpy-sounding name, I would propose the next version be called "The PIMP", Photographic Image Manipulation Program, or Professional Image Manipulation Program, to satisfy the people who are uncomfortable with the name. Hell, why even wait for someone else to change the name? Change the branding yourself just for your own personal use. The Windows version should go with the WIMP as the name, and perhaps The ChIMP would be appropriate for Christians or anyone who can think of a good acronymical reason for that.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

WTFpod

Marc is back, apparently podcasting out of his garage in LA? I hope he's given up any abusive relationships with AirAmerica. Just listening to my first episode of it now. I needed some good news.
Via Brilliant at Breakfast.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Why DOES the sun REALLY shine?

They Might Be Giants, setting the record straight!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Legacy: The "Noughties" Ain't Over

Dick Cheney just won't stay underground. The Dark Lord appeared on deFace duh Nation and in Harry Shearer's Dick Cheney: CONFIDENTIAL (from the 38:00 minute mark). I never expected to hear much of him again after January 2009. In a related story, suspected Bush/Cheney sympathizer Lawton Smalls calls in to Mark Maron at BreakRoom Live again with some of his own unresolved medical and psychological issues surrounding health care (@ 19:15).

Monday, March 23, 2009

Lawton Smalls on BreakRoomLive

Marc Maron has been continuing his abusive off-again-on-again relationship with Air America radio. This time he's working with Sam Seder on BreakRoomLive.

The show hasn't built up to the heights of Morning Sedition, and Seder will never be as funny as Jim Earl, but Marc and Sam seem to work pretty well together.

Lawton Smalls called in last month. Can Angus McFarquhar be far behind? Sammy the stem cell? Cardinal Milfington?

The voicemail


The first call: Don't Stim Me, Bro


The second call: Republican diversity (March 9)


Speaking of retired radio (or podcast) characters rising from the dead, Dick Cheney: Confidential hasn't run out of steam yet, either, with Harry Shearer placing, uh, Dick, in some continuing undisclosed locations.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Microsoft Songsmith

I learned via the February 4th WNYC Soundcheck podcast about the phenomenon of Microsoft Songsmith. To me, it is the opposite of karaoke. Whereas karaoke is everything but the vocal, and the vocal is the only live part added at the end, Songsmith starts with the vocal (apparently sung synched to a metronome-like set beat) as a start point, and then the software generates what the rest of the song might sound like according to your preferences. As WNYC puts it, "With the release of Microsoft's Songsmith, seasoned songwriters and amateurs alike can generate canned accompaniment to their own voice (or those of others) with the touch of a button." Songsmith compositions seem to have gone viral a few weeks ago, although many of the YouTube videos still only have a few thousand hits. They (at WNYC) put some examples here, and linked to some others at Musicradar. Check out this playlist at YouTube or create one with a search. Microsoft's geeky (anti?-)ad may make you appreciate the production values of real ads. If you have a pc lying around and some audio tracks, you can give it a try for your 6 hour free trial. [download] [screen-shots]



Here are some lesser-known hits of "The Songsmiths":
Tom's Diner (and Glockenspiel Emporium)
Heart of Glass (and Metal!?)
Reggae-o-head's "Reckoner"
PussyCat Dolls (Don't Cha)
Billie Jean (is not my robot?)
Slim Shady (pleeease sit down?)

Just as with real musicians, it's hard for the virtual band to have a hit, but perhaps someday the robo-musicians WILL be better.

Tunes generated by economic data allow the depression to generate its own soundtrack! Any data will do.



I wonder how this cyber-muzak will wash back and influence human musicmaking, like songbirds imitating cellphone ringtones. Will musicians imitate famous bad Songsmith compositions in their live shows? Will machine translations of random wikipedia pages be the most popular lyrics?

We got the beat
Beat it
Heard it thru the grapevine
Just what i need, ed. (the cars)
The Doobie(us) Bros: Long Train Running
Buddy Holly (weezer)
What's goin on?
God only knows (bleach-boyz)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Obama Battles the Pink Robocallers

The Obama campaign YouTube site has a video complaining about the McCain robocall attack. McCain cannot afford or convince humans to do his dirty work, so he has been employing bots to speak ill of Obama in hopes that the humans will repeat the rumors.



That reminded me of a song… which needs a few tweaks…

Obama Battles the Robocalls
(by Unknown Pirate, ripoff from The Flaming Lips)

His name is Obama
he’s a candidate for office
working for the people
he has to discipline his message

'Cause he knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know he can beat them

Oh Obama, they wanna harm ya
but you won't let those robots bomb ya
Obama, they wanna harm ya
but you won't let those robots bomb ya

Those evil robo-callers
they're programmed to destroy us
he’s got to guide the nation
so he’s taking your donation

'Cause he knows that
it'd be tragic
if those robo-callers win
I know he can beat them

Oh Obama, they wanna harm ya
but you won't let those robots bomb ya
Obama, they wanna harm ya
but you won't let those robots bomb ya

Obama

'Cause he knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know he can beat them
………


Sunday, October 05, 2008

SP Operating System outlined

This is the Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart, courtesy of the highly-perceptive reverse-engineering skills at adennak.com (AKA ph33r and loathing). Apparently the chart has gone viral, and I am only one of at least several tens of thousands if not millions of people who got this in an e-mail. What can I say? He so nailed it. This is far more articulate than any analysis you'd get on CNN. The programming metaphor may be a good fit since Palin looks animatronic, to me. Hollywood, it's not too late to include a Palin look-alike in the re-make of Westworld.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Whole New World.

Republican Vice-Presidential candidate and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin continued to enhance her foreign policy credentials today as she toured Florida's EPCOT Center, meeting with the newly-installed animatronic presidents Zardari, Hamid Karzai, Indira Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln. Later, the former beauty queen had lunch with Cinderella and Minnie Mouse, where the conversation veered away from the everyday concerns of hard-working fictional characters in the fantasy land community into an unexpectedly heated discussion of animal rights. Local reporters and national media were chased from the scene by an angry John McCain, who appeared to be shadowing Mrs Palin. Mrs Palin left the event by helicopter, and was last seen attempting to bag Bambi from the low-flying aircraft. Technicians who arrived on the scene were unable to field dress the animal due to rust and extensive soldering. The Disney autonomouse region casts 3 of the state's 27 electoral votes through a tough 2000 compromise that had the kingdom suspend its armed, eared, four-fingered secessionist struggle in exchange for implants in the spinal cords of the Bush royal family and their offspring.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Whale here, whale now!

Cetacean-based fats and oils are a tested and proven source of light, heat, energy, and provide a nutritious, edible, metal-rich spread for our growing nation. Futuristic fuels such as coal oil and petroleum are pie-in-the sky ideas best left for the next century. John McCain supports expanding the nation's whaling fleet to deal with the fast-rising price of whale oil above the critical sixpence-per-cup level. Large numbers of energy-rich whales drift uselessly in our territorial waters due to tax barriers erected by the liberal Democratic allies of Barack Obama. Given the proper tax incentives, these offshore whale reserves can be used to free the land grow the economy!

Whale, baby, whale!
Paid for by the Cetacean-based Fuels for America's Future Consortium



This is only a drill.
Had this been an actual national energy emergency,
you would have been directed to develop renewable energy sources for energy independence.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Wreck of the Party of Lincoln

Wreck of the Party of Lincoln
adapted from
Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
Original music and lyrics ©1976 by Gordon Lightfoot
livicated to the 29-man crew
these lyrics creative commons attribution pls


1
The legend lives on from Superior on down:
the Republican Nat'n'l Convention
in 2008, late summer of hate,
days after the mile-high love-in.
2
With a load of "folklore", twenty-thousand times more
than the party of Reagan held empty,
that good party crew was a bone to be chewed
when the "Gales of November" came early.
3
The new cap'n's name was J S McCain (III),
a Panamanian-registered vet'ran.
A naval bombardier, he was a prisoner
who'd ditched his first wife for an heiress.
4
He said he didn't know how many homes he owned
but his staff would get back to us later.
And sometime that week when he picked out his veep
came the wreck of the party of Lincoln.
5
His first running mate was governor of a state
where the moose and caribou frolic.
Her privilege was to kill them to get a cheap thrill.
Her voice was like nails on a blackboard.
6
Palin was the pride of the born-ag'in side,
coming down from some town in Alaska.
As governors go, she was younger than most,
with a pregnant unmarried teen daughter.
7
Consulting some firms with political terms,
she left fully loaded for Dayton.
And later that day when the teleprompter rolled,
could it be the North Slope they were drillin'?
8
The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
as the waves broke over the levees.
And ev'ry man knew, as the captain did too
'twas the ghosts of Katrina come callin'.
9
The dawn came late and the party had to wait
when Hurricane Gustav came slashin'.
When afternoon came it was drivin' rain
in the face of a hurricane west wind.
10
When Monday night came the networks got on deck sayin'.
"Fellas, it's too rough t' feed ya."
At seven P.M. the main speaker caved in; he said,
"Fellas, I'll phone it in later!"
11
The pollster mailed in he had polls comin' in
so they sent Mister Cheney to Georgia.
And later that night when the moon was outta sight
came the wreck of the party of Lincoln.
12
Does any one know why the black waters flow
from Saint Paul to the city of N'Orleans?
On the streets of Saint Paul the cops make a haul
rounding up passers-by and protesters.
13
In a big musty hall in the town of Saint Paul,
called the "Xcel Energy Center"
the Blackberries chime ringing twenty-three times
for each speech scheduled in the new lineup.
14
"Democracy Now" never matters somehow
to the "Homeland Security" goon squads.
In "pre-emptive arrests" citing "anarchists"
they arrested 400 "protesters".
15
The legend lives on from Superior on down
to the mouth of the great Mississippi.
Lake Pontchartrain never cares for Bush's brain
when the gales of November come early!


Notes: This music came to me in the morose atmosphere of the start of the Republican National Convention. It was lucky that that expression even has the right syllable count -- if you reduce National (Nash+nul) to 2 syllables. A few lines occurred to me over the past few days and I wrote up some more for my amusement this afternoon. I was trying to have 14 stanzas(?) like the original but I ran over so delete your least favorite one, mix and match, substitute words, credit me as co-lyricist if you record this. I left the numbers in. This music must be deep in my brain. I thought nobody over 40 or 36 or so would remember it, since it was a 1976 song about a 1975 wreck, but the Dandy Warhols recorded a cover of it. I'd like to see the Dandys or Gordon Lightfoot or better yet, "Gordon Lightfoot and the Dandy Warhols" performing the 2008 Electoral Rewrite version of this song, live, in concert.

Music video:


2008 live Gordon Lightfoot version:


Gordon Lightfoot MySpace

Dandy Warhols cover

Original lyrics: 1, 2

The Republican Party Convention:
official
wikipedia

Friday, June 13, 2008

Context is Everything


A public service message brought to you by
Citizens for the Neutralization of Stupidity

Monday, June 02, 2008

What's *your* excuse?


"Awesome. I saw it, too! It came out of the sun and vanished behind the Starbucks Drive-thru. The craft resembled nothing so much as the delicate first impression of steamed milk from a Starbucks latte, or possibly a cappucino. It was hard to tell from the distance and speed at which it moved, which I would estimate as 4000 miles per hour."

This illustrated fictional episode grew out of a friend's forward of my own e-mail back to me. He later said he had mistaken me for his mom because he got the message (which did include the words "love, Mom" written by a tornado-stricken person) on his iphone as he went thru the starbucks drive-thru. I responded that the iphone/starbucks tale was the new "Dog-ate-my-homework." Today I was sent a picture of the confusing establishment, which, when visually enhanced over my lunch hour, revealed new evidence of illegal aliens working in the Los Angeles basin.
Uptweak 20080609: iPhone=I.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Well, wouldja, Dick?

This little bit of found internet detritus to the right somehow appeals to my juvenile sense of humor. It is the t-shirt that must be worn by every member of the audience if cardiological cyborg and bionic VP Mistercheney ever emerges from the secure-undisclosed and attempts to give a public speech rather than retiring with Halliburton to Dubai as expected. I wish I had had this t-shirt in high school. But I didn't. Still, it reminds me of my homies and I (and "homies" wasn't really a word back then) in high school, who fashioned ourselves as I.O.N.S. (International Organization of Nuclear Scientists) and, donning lab coats and t-shirts emblazoned with our code-names "F" "U" "C" and "K", (and o+f+f in smaller letters), and while sitting together in formation in the lunchroom next to the teachers' table, were severely castigated berated scolded by the school principal and forbidden from appearing with each other on school grounds in direct violation of our fundamental rights of free association as guaranteed under the U. S. Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Yup, those were the days. A brief loving look back and WTFWWT moment as captured in the original unretouched photograph:

Friday, January 25, 2008

Hell o' Kitty

You can go straight to hell. Hello Kitty Hell. And while you are there, can you get something for me? A Hello Kitty tattoo, preferably in the middle of your forehead. This is what the ancients referred to as "the mark of the beast" -- one of the sure signs of the apocalypse.