Gibbon arrested, charged, may seek political office

Feeding rumors of a run for the White House in '08, Hollywood actor Malik "Mal" Gibbon (a pseudonym is used to protect his privacy) has recently been arrested for DUI. Driving-under-the influence-of-alcohol arrests were also important millstones in the political careers of chimperor G. W. Bush and Vice Executioner Halliburton "Dick" Cheney. Although Mr Gibbon has no requisite record of avoiding military service, another important qualification for the post, he is suspected to be of "foreign" extraction. In recent years Americans have turned away from corrupt and incompetent home-grown kleptocrats and sought out escaped musclemen from Austrian circuses and/or actors to manage their nation's increasingly complex "innernaschnull" and "nukyular" affairs. The actor's foreignness, drunkenness, bigotedness, and heavily documented dedication to Jeezus are all factors that are causing Repugnicant Particals in the Base, the Party of God (G.O.P.) to take a closer look at the profile of this rising star.
(Pic googled from the Smoking Gun)
Update: I see that somebody of the one mind has crafted their own Mr Gibbon before I thunk it.